Staying Connected While Growing Apart

As the dreaded teen years approach, you may find yourself feeling pressure to
connect with your growing children. Long gone are the days when mom and dad
are needed for every little task. Instead, fast approaching are the days of full
independence. Learning how to adapt to your child’s evolving needs is crucial to staying connected as they grow.

Aside from their age, small changes signify the shift nearing closer. Recently I had to collect clothing and shoes from my son’s room that I just bought. He’d already outgrown some items that were never worn.

I took my daughter to go shopping for training bras and she suddenly requested privacy when trying them on. For a girl who once needed her mommy at every step, I was surprised at the her desire for privacy.

Most notably, my kids are becoming increasingly distant from me. Hugs are shorter, cuddles occur less often, and more of their time is spent in their rooms instead. Don’t get me wrong, part of me is enjoying my own independence. However, another part of me is preemptively grieving the end of their childhood.

This realization had me questioning if my children will still enjoy spending time with me as they age. Can you relate? If so, I’ve got some tips on how to stay connected to your budding tween.

Let’s start by taking time to savor this in-between stage. We can ensure our kids stick around as they grow more independent by engaging them in the following:

Stay Connected By Paying Attention To Their Interests

First things first, we need to pay attention to the things they like. Are they into
sports or arts and crafts? Every child has a special interest that speaks to their
personality. Use the knowledge you gain and include activities, outings, music and movies that they’ll love.

My son has always shown an interest in cooking. Where we live, cooking classes are EXPENSIVE, so we opted to subscribe to an age-appropriate cooking kit. Every month we’re sent recipes and cooking tools that we can use together in the kitchen.

He loves to shop for items we need and pushes the cart by himself. Not only is he having fun, but he’s learning those life skills he’ll need for future independence.

Practice Making Connections-Work On Encouraging Socialization

If your children go to school, church, or participate in group activities, they likely have friends they hang out with. Tweens love to socialize, so finding ways to include their friends in your activities will add extra fun.

I stay in regular contact with the mothers of children that my kids enjoy hanging
out with. We schedule outings at least once a month that cater to everyone’s interests. In doing so, we rotate activities to ensure everyone has a chance to share their special interest.

The simple act of including your child’s friends in their favorite activities reminds them that their ideas are valued.

Stay Active & Adventurous To Build Lifelong Memories

Families who play together, stay together. Try to schedule regular activities outside of your home to keep them engaged. Fishing, bike riding, and hiking are all great ideas that won’t cost you anything more than your time.

My daughter participates in scouting and we regularly go on camping trips
together. She gets to have fun while spending time with her friends and learning
valuable life skills. Added bonus: I get to be there! We pack together, set up supplies together, pitch our tent together and go on loads of adventures.

Need some ideas on fun activities? Check out my article: The Summer Switch-Give Your Kids a Fun, Educational Break!

Connect By Creating Time To Reflect

Whatever you decide to do, make sure to take photos of your fun times together.
Later you can give copies to your children and encourage them to create a
scrapbook. This will foster a sense of connection as they reminisce on everything you’ve done together.

I’ve kept scrapbooks and physical photo albums since my children were young.
With everything being digitized these days, it’s easy to rack up thousands of photos that you’ve forgotten about. Throughout the year, I go back and print some of our favorite activities to share with my kids. We cut, paste, and organize our memories together and store the binders away.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stumbled across my daughter flipping through an old book. She loves to relive her best times. I love to see the smile spreading across her face and hearing “LOOK! I forgot we went here!”

*We can’t always expect to find creative solutions, especially during times of high stress. If you’re struggling to find your spark, this article may help.