How To Help Your Child Make Friends

As your child’s teacher, one of your jobs is to help them make and maintain friendships. This can be difficult if you’re an introvert (like myself).

My early days at the park consisted of me and my child playing parallel to other families. I mean, what kind of weirdo approaches another adult and begins asking questions about their child?

That thought and others, prevented me from initiating conversations. However, I noticed a twinkle in my child’s eye that said “hey, look there’s someone I want to play with.” The problem was he had no idea where to start.

His ability to communicate with other children, relied on my ability to teach him. This sounds like a given, but my son lacked social cues and situational awareness, more so than a neurotypical child.

I had to learn how to teach him the communication skills that he lacked, before sending him out to play.

Luckily, not every child will struggle with making friends. For those who need a little extra help, allow the following steps to guide you.

1. Observe Your Child

Take a test run. Go to the park or similar space where other children their same age are socializing.

Give your child the freedom to explore that space. Take mental notes of their behavior.

Are they jumping right in and joining the group? Or, are they remaining close to you, while staring over at the other children?

If you experience the latter, it’s time to step in. If your child is too young to approach without direction from you, take them over to the group. Initiate play for them.

“Hey guys, this is (child’s name). He/She would love to join you!” Give your child the “go ahead” nod and see if they mingle without your constant encouragement.

If so, they merely lack the confidence to initiate a conversation. This is easily overcome with frequent practice at home and “pretend play.” In this scenario, you would have your child practice approaching and introducing themselves.

Using puppets, dolls or action figures is a great way to help them practice their greetings and initial conversations.

However, if after you’ve initiated play, your child struggles with continuing their participation, some more work needs to be done.

No worries! I’ve been there. The following steps can be taken to ensure your child acquires such skills.

2. Bring On The Resources

The first step I took, was to open a book. There are countless books and games that focus on fostering social-emotional intelligence in your child.

I began reading to my son at a very young age. This encouraged a love of reading, and more importantly, of learning.

Here is a list of my Top Ten books and games we’ve used over the years, to help my son become more comfortable in a social setting:

1. Social Skills Activities for Kids
2. Social-Emotional Match-Ups
3. Grab and Play Social-Emotional Games
4. My Feelings Journal
5. Making Good Choices Match-Ups
6. Building Relationships Match-Ups
7. Learning To Get Along Book Set
8. Character Kids Save The Day
9. Empathy Workbook For Kids
10. Empathy Is Your Super Power

3. Push Yourself To Socialize

Kids learn by example. I can read every book about how to socialize with my child, but nothing compares to witnessing it first hand.

Admittedly, this was not an easy task for a shy mommy to do. I too, struggled with initiating conversations with other moms on the playground.

There were times I failed miserably. Not for the fact that I didn’t try, but because “mom clicks” exist. There were times when a group was just flat out not interested in bringing in another family.

It was discouraging, and didn’t help my social anxiety one bit. However, I kept trying. As a result, my children and I formed a small group of “regulars” that we socialize with often.

Need some inspiration? Here are my favorite spots to socialize for both you and your kiddos:

• Local Parks and Playgrounds
• Mommy and Me Groups
• Local Libraries and Story Times
• Scouting Groups
• Sport Team Meet-Ups
• Sunday School/Church Groups
• Homeschool Co-Ops
• Local Facebook Homeschool Social Groups
• Local Extracurricular Activity Groups (think special interest groups designed for children)

Pick any social setting you like, and make a point to return on a regular basis. Familiar faces will turn into forever friendships for you and your child!

One Final Note: When you witness your child making attempts to socialize, give them constructive and positive feedback.

“I liked how you told the other child your name! Did you ask them what their name is?” This statement informs the child that their introduction was great, and encourages them to keep the conversation flowing!